Expressions of Perceptions

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Nearly every parent feels very strongly about vaccines, whether they’re pro-vax or anti-vax.  Of course everyone’s entitled to his or her own opinion, but the problem arises when they try to force their behavior onto others.

You vaccinate, so you’re going to try to force me to vaccinate, too.  I’m ant-vax, so I’m going to try to keep you from vaccinating.  Wrong!  As with everything in life, it should be a choice, but not a decision entered into lightly.  It should be an INFORMED choice.  Research the vaccines and diseases.  Read the vaccine insert.  Find out what you’re choosing and why.

This may stop many people from reading any further, but I’m telling you anyway:  I’m opposed to vaccines.  I’ve done countless hours of online research, read numerous books, and read vaccine inserts.  Therefore, I have made an INFORMED decision.  I do not believe that the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks. 

That should be the end of it.  That’s my decision (well, mine and my husband’s for our family), and no one should try to force me to go against it.  But I said “should”.

Many parents of vaccinated children believe that unvaccinated children should be made to get vaccinated to keep up the herd immunity.  For some odd reason, they are afraid that their vaccinated children may get sick, with the disease that they were vaccinated against, from the unvaccinated children.  You’d think they’d have more confidence in the vaccines they’re so supportive of.

One argument is that some children can’t receive certain vaccines because of various health issues, so my children should be vaccinated to protect those children.  My question is: Then who is going to protect MY child from the poisons of the vaccines?

Why should I expose MY children to the risks of vaccines in order to protect YOUR child?  Why is YOUR child’s life more important than MY child’s life?

The diseases do come with risks, but so do the vaccines.  They both carry the risk of death.  If my child receives a vaccine, it is certain that he or she may die from the guaranteed exposure to the vaccine.  If your child is not vaccinated, there is no guarantee that he or she will ever even be exposed to the disease (like with polio).

Both diseases and vaccines carry risks.  So, if it’s all about protection, how do you decide which child to throw under the bus?  Should I potentially damage my child with vaccines for your child’s sake?  Should your child risk possibly, at some point in life, being exposed to an illness that may or may not make him or her very sick and possibly have potential complications?

Most of the risks of diseases are known.  The risks of vaccines are not only not known, but are also often disputed, inconclusive, and/or not found out until many years later (like with the SV40 contamination in polio vaccines and pig-wasting virus contamination in the rotavirus vaccines), which is admitted in the vaccine inserts that state that the vaccine “has not been tested for carcinogenic or mutagenic effect”.  Yes, years ago before humans had the medical technology, such as intravenous fluids and antibiotics, most diseases were a death sentence.  That’s not the case now though.  There are many treatment options available nowadays.

So, to return to my earlier question, which child do you decide to throw under the bus?  Well, YOU decide for YOUR family, and I’ll decide for MINE, but if you think I should throw MY kid under the bus with vaccination for the sake of YOUR child, I’ll tell you right now, you’d better have a back-up plan!

We eat a healthy non-gmo diet, mostly organic, so I don’t expect our food to be cheap.  I’d really like to lower my food budget, but I’m not sure how to.  I recently read a food article buy a woman who feeds her family of 6 (5 of whom are boys with double-digit ages!) on $600 a month.  Sadly, that woman puts me to shame, and we’re only a family of 5.  Her family eats mostly organic, and they do have a huge garden and fruit tress that they preserve the harvest from, but they don’t eat much meat, and they do eat alot of noodles.  Unfortunately, that wouldn’t fly at my house.  Not to mention, food in her area of the country is much cheaper than it is here.  (One example, my eggs cost over double the amount that she pays for her eggs.  Don’t even get me started on the price comparison for fruits and meat.)

My kids are still young, but they sure do eat alot.  And they’re not only picky, but one of them also has food allergies.  I have to try to cook food that both tastes good and is safe for my family to eat, and that’s quite a challenge.

My oldest child detests cheese, noodles, anything pickled, and anything spicy.  My middle child refuses meat, but loves her cheese and carbohydrates.  My youngest child is wonderful because he likes most things.  And my husband hates vegetables and will rarely eat fruit, and he’s pretty much opposed to anything that may even be remotely construed as healthy.

I think one of the reasons I spend so much money on food is because in trying to please everyone, every meal turns out to be a feast in which I prepare a main dish with multiple side dishes so that there’s sure to be something that everyone will eat.

Yes, it’s most likely my fault for letting my kids get so picky instead of just telling them to eat what’s on the table (although my mother-in-law bears the responsibility for my husband’s pickiness), but I swear they’d go on a week-long hunger strike, my husband included, if I did that.  Trust me, I’ve tried, but I worried they would starve if I didn’t cave.

Getting back on subject, my goal is to find some healthy, inexpensive, kid-friendly, husband-friendly recipes to make for the month of February.  I know I’ll experience some resistance at first, but I’ve got to try.  I’m hoping that making a meal calendar in advance will help me to plan my meals and shopping list, and perhaps swap out some more expensive meals for less expensive ones.  So, I’ve got my meal calendar made.  Now I’m going to see what I can change on it to make it less expensive yet equally nutritious.  I know I won’t be able to cut my food budget in half in a single month, but by planning ahead with my meal calendar, I’m hoping to whittle it down a little bit every month until it’s at least close to what I want it to be.

My 4-year old daughter’s allergies became quite alarming.  It was beyond sniffles and sneezes and to the point of asthmatic reactions, breathing treatments every four hours, an more.  When the pediatrician mentioned that she wondered if my insurance would cover allergy testing, I didn’t care if it was covered or not.  In my mind, I needed to do everything possible to help my daughter, so if she needed allergy tests, I’d pay out of pocket if I had to.

The pediatrician ordered a blood allergy test, a test that, from what I’ve researched, is less painful than skin allergy testing but also less accurate and more expensive.  I took my daughter to the hospital where she had 3 tubes of blood drawn.

I knew blood allergy testing was more expensive than skin allergy testing, but I was willing to clean out my savings account if necessary to get my daughter the help the pediatrician thought was necessary.  Little did I know that I didn’t have enough money in my savings account to cover the actual cost.

I was shocked when I received the statement of charges from my insurance company.  The allergy testing was nearly $1400!  Talk about feeling nauseous.  I cringed and squinted, afraid to see the number, as I checked to see how much I owed out-of-pocket.  To my surprise and utter amazement, I owed nothing.

Praise the Lord (and trust me I did) that the allergy testing was covered by our insurance.  I did feel like I was let off the hook, but not without learning a lesson.  No ne wants to base their child’s medical care on money, but sometimes questions need to be asked.  I’m not saying that medical help should be ignored, because it definitely shouldn’t, but sometimes there are other options.

I could have asked about skin allergy testing, but I honestly thought it couldn’t possibly cost more than a few hundred dollars for some bloodwork.  Money aside, had I known that skin allergy testing was more accurate, I may have chosen it simply for accuracy’s sake.  But I never asked questions.  I made decisions based on my emotions, not based on critical thinking and reasoning.  It wasn’t an informed decision, and I do regret that, but my daughter has been doing much better lately since we got the results.  We’ve had to modify a few things in our diet and environment, but it’s an incredibly small price to pay for my precious girl’s well-being.

Money’s not everything, but when you don’t have enough of ot to pay your bill, it is something. 

I know that the hospital we go to has a charity program that offers discounts and free medical care to patients who qualify.  The income guidelines are very generous, and although I haven’t received any assistance from them, I know that others have.  It’s a generous, caring thing that the hospital does for those who need help.  If you’re ever in the situation I was spared from, ask your local hospital if they offer discounts or free medical care.  I would think they’d be sensitive to your situation.

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Well, it appears the holidays are fast approaching.  Thanksgiving is this month, and Christmas the next.  I admit, I already bought my turkey a month or two ago from Organic Prairie when they had a great deal on their products, but I’m totally unprepared for Christmas – so unprepared that I’ve yet to even start putting away money with which to buy Christmas presents!

So, I’m ready for Thanksgiving.  I’ve got a turkey in my freezer, some potatoes from my co-op, cranberries in the freezer from last year, and cooked mashed pumpkins from the October harvest.  It’s Christmas that’s taking me by surprise this year.

I have no Christmas list, not for myself or my children.  I have no money set aside for Christmas because a “Christmas Club” savings account apparently slipped my mind for the past 10 months.  And as far as food goes, I don’t know yet what I’m cooking, but I’m not too concerned with that.  You know, I don’t even know what time the Christmas church service is at our church either.

What I do know is this:  Christmas is coming.  It will be here December 25th.  My family and I will be celebrating whether we’re prepared for it or not.  Well, it sounds like I am prepared after all now, doesn’t it?!

Realistically, with how busy Christmas is, what with visiting family and whatnot, we’ll probably just eat simple everyday food.  My kids are still young (the oldest of 3 is still only 4), so we’ll probably go to the craft section of a store and buy craft supplies to make ornaments to give as gifts.  We’ll also bake fruitcakes, cookies, and other goodies to give as gifts as well.  Our own decorations will probably be handmade because those kinds of decorations are fun, meaningful, and can be used as a great teaching/learning experience.

As difficult as it is to believe, especially in this materialistic world, holidays aren’t about gifts, spending money, and eating yourself sick. They aren’t about going into debt or buying the newest toy.  They’re celebrations of love and blessings.

Of course I’ll buy my kids presents, too, but I won’t go overboard (I hope).  It’d be much more beneficial for all of us if I spent only a reasonable amount of money on them and set a good example with financial responsibility, rather than going into debt to buy the newest toys that they’ll break in a week, get tired of in a month, or outgrow in a season.

After all, if you recall the story about gold, frankincense, and myrrh, even Jesus only got 3 presents for Christmas, and I’m sure He didn’t complain one bit!

As if back-to-school shopping weren’t already expensive enough, we’re now getting hit with another school expense: pictures!  I don’t want to sound like a bad mom and say “Who needs a picture?  I see my kids everyday!  I know what they look like!”, but I may not be so tempted to say that if it were just school pictures.  On top of school photos, we’ve also got soccer pictures.  Yep, 2 sets of pictures in 1 month.

Maybe I’m just super-frugal (translation: cheap), but 2 sets of photographs in a single month could take up over half of the “misc. & wants” category of my budget.  Then what happens if I run into an unexpected “miscellaneous” expense?!

At soccer last night, I joked with one of the other mothers about just buying whichever set of pictures Aurora was cheesin’ less in.  I love that girl, but she “cheeses” so hard that the corners of her mouth poke her in the eyes!  (Not really.  Realistically, she just smiles big and squints her eyes at the same time, but getting poked in the eyes by lips seemed like a more colorful illustration.)

One of the mothers told me that she takes her own children’s pictures and prints them at Walmart.  Then, she only buys the school and team photos.  That’s a really good idea.  (I take my children’s pictures all the time, but not in a fancy backdrop type of setting, nor do I always make sure their hair is combed and the ketchup is off their faces before snapping a shot.)  She also saves money by just giving photos of the children as Christmas gifts to her family.  Really, what grandparent wouldn’t love an 8×10 of their grandchild for Christmas?  Yep, that woman is pretty smart saving money on photos and Christmas presents at the same time.

Anyway, since this is Aurora’s first year of both school and soccer, I think I’d feel guilty not buying her photos.  So, I’ve decided to buy the smallest school picture package available, which costs around $15, and the class picture.  That way, I’ll be able to put a photo of her and her class in a scrapbook for her.  I’ll also buy the soccer team picture and a few wallet photos of her in her soccer uniform to put in her scrapbook and for in her grandparents’ wallets.  Thankfully, the soccer photo options are more liberal and don’t require you to purchase a package deal.

I’m comforted that I’ll probably only spend around $30 for Aurora’s school and team photos, but I’m a bit nervous looking in to the future when all 3 of my kids are old enough to be in school and sports.  I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it though, and I know that day will be very soon.  If it’s too expensive then, I just won’t buy them.  Or maybe now that I know what’s coming, maybe I’ll be able to save up for them if I add that amount to the back-to-school money I set aside throughout the year.

My mom recently told me that my nephew and his friends were trying to earn money to fix up their bikes.  Of course, I wanted to help, but I’ve got my own expenses.  I can’t afford to spruce up, trick-out, or pay for whatever it is these 12-year olds want to do to their bicycles.  That doesn’t mean I couldn’t help them though.  I could help them, just not monetarily.

I have a friend who opened up a bakery.  Her ingenious idea was to bake cakes in canning jars that are shelf-stable and easy to mail.  Talk about a unique product!  Anyway, I asked my friend if she’d let my nephews sell her cakes as a fundraiser.  She thought it was a good idea – more exposure for her products and money for both her and my nephew.

Some kids might not be comfortable selling things, but I figured that they already had so much experience selling products for school fundraisers that they’d surely be able to sell Kim’s jar cakes.

Sometimes, it’s okay to give children money.  Sometimes, it’s okay to pay children for doing odd jobs.  Sometimes, when you just don’t have cash to spare, it’s great to point children in the right direction and let them earn their own money.

So, without investing any of my own money, except to make copies of the order forms, I was able to help 3 children and 1 business owner earn some money, not a large amount, but some.  Overall, everyone was happy with the arrangement. 

Oh, and if you’re curious about the bakery, it’s CK Bakery Shop.  You can probably find a local business willing to allow your children to host a fundraiser, but if not, maybe Kim would be willing to!

We’ve got family coming in from California tomorrow. We’re excited to visit with them, but I’m also busy trying to think of quick, easy, inexpensive foods to serve. I like having company. Family is a blessing, not a burden, but entertaining does bring with it more expenses. Here are some tips to help you serve inexpensive end-of-the-summer picnics:

1. Choose an inexpensive protein. Picnics don’t have to have fried chicken, grilled burgers, or even cold cuts. (Just ask a vegetarian!) Protein is expensive. Rather than making meat the main course, serve a variety of side dishes with deviled eggs and/or baked beans as the protein sources.

2. Serve pasta. Pasta salads are easy inexpensive dishes that are easy to make in large batches.

3. Serve local in-season fruit. You don’t have to go all out with a tropical or extravagant fruit salad. A simple tray of watermelon would work just as well as a bowl of mandarin orange salad with pine nuts and toasted coconut.

4. Serve beverages in pitchers. You don’t have to offer bottles of water or cans of soda. You can easily make pitchers of water, lemonade, and iced tea for much less than the cost of individual beverages.

5. Make it a potluck. Unless your guests are traveling a great distance to see you, it couldn’t hurt to ask them to bring a side dish or dessert.

6. Exclude dessert. Desserts can get expensive, especially fruit pies and cheesecakes. If you’re already serving fruit, guests can satisfy their sweet tooth with fresh fruit.

7. Serve what you’ve got. If you’re growing a garden, serve a lot of vegetable dishes lke salads and crudites.

8. Make it a theme party. Theme parties narrow down the variety of dishes and can greatly reduce the price of a picnic. Make it a salad and dessert party, a garden harvest party, or a pastapalooza.

9. Be careful what time you schedule the party. If you have a party at or around a meal time, such as lunch or dinner, guests will eat more. If your party is at a time like 2-4 pm, your guests won’t be as hungry, so you won’t have to provide as much food.

My oldest daughter Aurora, who is only 4 years old, has been having such a rough time with knots in her hair lately, and the pool water definitely doesn’t help.  This morning, I convinced her to let me cut her hair and donate it to Locks of Love.  I didn’t give it much thought that this was her first real haircut.  She doesn’t even have bangs.

After I finished cutting the last few stray long hairs, Aurora said “It didn’t even hurt”.  Surprised, I replied, “You thought it was gonna hurt, but you let me cut your hair anyway?”.  Her incredibly heartwarming answer was “Well, it’s nice to do things for other people.  And there are kids who really need some hair…”.

Wow!  Such selflessness.  I wish I could take credit and use that as confirmation that I must be doing something right in raising her, but I can’t.  I’m not nearly that selfless.  That’s all God’s doing.

My daughter’s selflessness today is such a great example of what I should strive to be like, what everyone should strive to be like.  Selfless.  Christ-like. 

After that, I realized that my children will teach me way more than I could ever teach them.  I just hope I’m a good enough student to learn the lessons.  I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to be a mother.  I can’t imagine a better blessing on earth.

Aurora with her previously long hair

Mother’s Day is generally celebrated as the day in which children celebrate their mothers.  I, however, am not good at being celebrated, so I’m celebrating in a different way.  Today, I’m celebrating being a mother.

Yes, I did send my mother, mother-in-law, step-mother, and each of my grandmothers a card and call or visit them because I appreciate their motherly roles in my life.  Yes, my children did wish me a happy Mother’s Day.  But those are the only “traditional” things I’m doing.

After breakfast this morning, it was time for Mother’s Day presents.  So, I sat my 3 kids on the couch and brought out a present for each of them.  Why?  Because I’m celebrating being their mother.  After all, without them I wouldn’t be a mother at all.

When my husband woke up, it was card time.  So, I gave him a card.  Why?  Because without him, I wouldn’t be mother to our 3 wonderful children.

That probably sounds odd to most people, but it comes perfectly natural to me.  People can celebrate me if they want, but can’t I also celebrate my own way?  So today, I’m celebrating my wonderful husband and children because without them, I wouldn’t be Mom!